You Have a Mistress
She comforts you when I can not
She takes away your pain
She stirs your senses
She soothes you
She makes you feel numb
She takes my place
She keeps you company
She warms you
She does not work
She has no responsibilities
She is at your beck and call
You have a Mistress
She is more desirable than I
She dulls your mind
All you think of is she
She keeps you coming back for more
She holds you in her bosom
She won’t let you go
You have a Mistress
She blinds you
She hardens your heart
She hurts but you can not feel the pain
I can’t make her go away
You have a Mistress
She is a devil, evil and cunning
She holds you in her clutches
Her grip is strong
I can’t break threw
She is taking you from me
I don’t know how to fight her
I have felt her anger
I have seen her wrath
I have seen her eyes
The eyes of a Satan
You have a Mistress
I know her name
Her name is:
Alcohol
Haunt of the Heart
She haunts my dreams
She stabs at my heart
I hear her screeching cackles
Because she knows she is winning
She is a mist
Some times she takes form
Some times a brunette
Some times a pretty redhead
Some times a blond
I fight her
But I can never win
She haunts me when I am awake
She haunts my sleep
One day she will take over
There will be nothing left for me
I will loose
Again I will be alone
This time forever…alone
She is more than me
You…
Were my hero
Why have you forsaken me?
What did I do wrong?
You threw me to the side like an old shoe
Where is my warrior now?
Bring him back!
He was my heart, my soul…;
He is gone….
Now only she is there….
She haunts me
DARKNESS
Alone in the darkness
Only my dreams give me life
There is no comfort, no rest, no sleep
Alone dreaming of the moutnians
Watching as the darkness becomes the bright orange dawn
that soon turns to light.
A new day, the sun shines high
The brightness blinds me.
Alone I wait for the dark
Empty heart, broken spirit
Depression seeps in.
I wait for the darkness, the restfulness,
the comfort of sleep.
JASON CAREY
Snakes and worms
puppy's and bug's
why's and how come's
smiles and hug's
kisses and loves
That's what my little boy is made of.
MY SON
You make the dark sky's light
You make the cold days warm
You make my cloudy days bright
You make the sadness go away
You make the loneliness disappear
You make me laugh
You make me smile
You are the reason for my pride
You are my world
You are my life
You are the key to my heart
You are the apple of my eye
You are the sun, the moon,
and the stars
You are Jason
You are my son
FOR JASON
Dark times cover your eye's
Black clouds hover over my sky's
Memorie's of a little boy
with smiles and hug's
Why's and how come's
Now you are grown
Heart's have torn and tear's form
Our worlds now in chaos
All hope seems lost
Remember this now my boy
As you face these dark times.
Twenty three years ago I gave birth to a son,
So gentle, so sweet, so very small in size.
A greater joy I have never known
as I looked into those big,
bright brown eye's ,
and held your small frame for the first time.
Though Your world now seems to crumble
My love for you will never stumble
You are my Jason
You are my one and only son.
I Love You
SWEET BABY BOY
Could have been my bundle of joy
Instead, it is sorrow I feel
Happening oh so fast
One moment you were cradled in side me
The next you were fighting to be born
I awake
You have been stillborn
Oh God, the emptiness the pain
The Nurse, the Doctor, the hospital
Who is to blame?
What did I do wrong?
Or was it only fate
I still search for the answers
Sweet baby boy
Your big brothers questions I can not answer
He can not understand
I don't know how to help him
I my self-am lost.
Sweet baby boy
It has been one year now
It seems like only yesterday
The ache still in my heart, I can not endure
My arms still reach to hold you tight
I still cry for hours at night
Oh God, the pain, will it never stop
The emptiness, the uncertainty, the lose.
Oh God above help me to be at peace
Give me the strength to go on.
Sweet mother of Jesus
A prayer for my lost son
Hold him close, hold him tight
I never had the chance to hold him in my arms
or sing to him good night
Kiss him once for me and from his big brother J.C.
Tell him we love him
Tell him we miss him
Tell him we will see him someday
Tell him that in our hearts he will always dwell
Oh Sweet baby boy
Are you well?
LOST LOVE
A love oh so dear
A love gone, yet was never there
Your eye's so blue
You're wavy dark hair
You made me so happy
Oh the things we could have shared
Brought together two people so lonely
You and I
The fun times we had, the loving times we shared
Gone all to soon
The love we made, oh so sweet
The mistake we can never undo
If only I could forget
If only the hurt would die
I still hear your voice
I still see your eyes
So many things I wish I could say to you
You said you cared..
Why did you lie?
If you would have only been there
I wish I could talk to you
Tell you of our son
Tell you of the hurt I must bare
But the words will not come
When I see you, when I try to speak to you
I only want to run
Time will heal my broken heart
But the memories will forever be there
Of the times we spent
And the places we went…..
SHILO
A heart of Gold
Worth much more than mear diamonds
A jewel more priceless than silver and gold
A heart of glass, so fragile so clear
Sparkling bright eyes
A smile that out shines the sun, the stars
A beauty from with in
Bursts forth from her innocent loving soul
Such a caring Angel my daughter
My Shilo
My Angel
Silver halo floats unseen above your head
Feather white Angel wings
Hidden behind your back
Your smile brightens the darkest gloomy day
A golden heart full of love, so fragile
So innocent
Yet, so mature beyond your tender years
A soul with more honesty,
More kindness, than has ever been shown
Trustworthy
Compassionate
You bring sunshine into my dark world
You bring laughter and Love into my empty soul
Ever present, ever caring
My friend, My companion, My heart
My Angel
My Daughter
My Shilo
The Warrior
Proud Stance
Angry eyes
Determined heart
She looks upon this man in awe.
She wonders what dwells inside his soul.
Underneath the pride, the anger, the determination.
Does his heart beat for something more?
She looks on from a distance
Wanting to know more.
His strength emanates from his being.
She dreams of feeling his embrace.
He glances once then turns away.
With a sadden heart she bows her head
His image forever burned into her memory.
Admiration from afar.
Reality once more embarks, the vision fades.
But her heart shall forever feel the warmth and privilege
As she gazed upon..
The Warrior
Koo-meaah
Your words make my hear skip a beat.
Your image burned into my soul, flashes into vision.
The knowledge that this dream holds no chance of reality cuts like a knife.
Intelligence beats into my brain that this is wrong,
Not a good thing, not a smart choice.
But my heart cry's out!
My soul sinks into despair.
Time heals all wounds.
But the heart never forgets.
Caged
The storm rages
She shivers in the icy cold
All hope seems lost
Still she prays for rescue
Anger burns
Her vision blurs
Darkness holds her serenity
Silence calms her soul
Peaceful dreams quiet her beating heart
Caged, Sympathy holds her in chains
Biting metal cuts into her skin
She fights for Freedom
Her mind whirls
Her heart pounds
Her soul cry's out!
Reflection
Hope sinks behind the lines of age.
Tired eyes stare into the reflection of despair
Dark circles cloud the once bright glow.
Grey strands dull what had been the soft,
dark flowing locks that framed her once smooth face.
She sees a beaten spirit glaring back at her.
Scars cover the heart that long ago craved love, passion and happiness.
The day draws nearer when her heart will beat no more.
The serenity of peace will set her broken spirit free with the dawn,
Of eternal sleep.
Night fall
Silence calms my soul
Darkness hides away my stress
I feel my muscles loosen
My body relaxes
Sleep slowly moves over me like a comforting blanket.
Sweet dreams knock softly at my door
I welcome them with open arms.
