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You Have a Mistress She comforts you when I can not She takes away your pain She stirs your senses She soothes you She makes you feel numb She takes my place She keeps you company She warms you She does not work She has no responsibilities She is at your beck and call You have a Mistress She is more desirable than I She dulls your mind All you think of is she She keeps you coming back for more She holds you in her bosom She won’t let you go You have a Mistress She blinds you She hardens your heart She hurts but you can not feel the pain I can’t make her go away You have a Mistress She is a devil, evil and cunning She holds you in her clutches Her grip is strong I can’t break threw She is taking you from me I don’t know how to fight her I have felt her anger I have seen her wrath I have seen her eyes The eyes of a Satan You have a Mistress I know her name Her name is: Alcohol


Haunt of the Heart She haunts my dreams She stabs at my heart I hear her screeching cackles Because she knows she is winning She is a mist Some times she takes form Some times a brunette Some times a pretty redhead Some times a blond I fight her But I can never win She haunts me when I am awake She haunts my sleep One day she will take over There will be nothing left for me I will loose Again I will be alone This time forever…alone She is more than me You… Were my hero Why have you forsaken me? What did I do wrong? You threw me to the side like an old shoe Where is my warrior now? Bring him back! He was my heart, my soul…; He is gone…. Now only she is there…. She haunts me

DARKNESS Alone in the darkness Only my dreams give me life There is no comfort, no rest, no sleep Alone dreaming of the moutnians Watching as the darkness becomes the bright orange dawn that soon turns to light. A new day, the sun shines high The brightness blinds me. Alone I wait for the dark Empty heart, broken spirit Depression seeps in. I wait for the darkness, the restfulness, the comfort of sleep.





JASON CAREY Snakes and worms puppy's and bug's why's and how come's smiles and hug's kisses and loves That's what my little boy is made of.



MY SON You make the dark sky's light You make the cold days warm You make my cloudy days bright You make the sadness go away You make the loneliness disappear You make me laugh You make me smile You are the reason for my pride You are my world You are my life You are the key to my heart You are the apple of my eye You are the sun, the moon, and the stars You are Jason You are my son


FOR JASON Dark times cover your eye's Black clouds hover over my sky's Memorie's of a little boy with smiles and hug's Why's and how come's Now you are grown Heart's have torn and tear's form Our worlds now in chaos All hope seems lost Remember this now my boy As you face these dark times. Twenty three years ago I gave birth to a son, So gentle, so sweet, so very small in size. A greater joy I have never known as I looked into those big, bright brown eye's , and held your small frame for the first time. Though Your world now seems to crumble My love for you will never stumble You are my Jason You are my one and only son. I Love You



SWEET BABY BOY Could have been my bundle of joy Instead, it is sorrow I feel Happening oh so fast One moment you were cradled in side me The next you were fighting to be born I awake You have been stillborn Oh God, the emptiness the pain The Nurse, the Doctor, the hospital Who is to blame? What did I do wrong? Or was it only fate I still search for the answers Sweet baby boy Your big brothers questions I can not answer He can not understand I don't know how to help him I my self-am lost. Sweet baby boy It has been one year now It seems like only yesterday The ache still in my heart, I can not endure My arms still reach to hold you tight I still cry for hours at night Oh God, the pain, will it never stop The emptiness, the uncertainty, the lose. Oh God above help me to be at peace Give me the strength to go on. Sweet mother of Jesus A prayer for my lost son Hold him close, hold him tight I never had the chance to hold him in my arms or sing to him good night Kiss him once for me and from his big brother J.C. Tell him we love him Tell him we miss him Tell him we will see him someday Tell him that in our hearts he will always dwell Oh Sweet baby boy Are you well?




LOST LOVE A love oh so dear A love gone, yet was never there Your eye's so blue You're wavy dark hair You made me so happy Oh the things we could have shared Brought together two people so lonely You and I The fun times we had, the loving times we shared Gone all to soon The love we made, oh so sweet The mistake we can never undo If only I could forget If only the hurt would die I still hear your voice I still see your eyes So many things I wish I could say to you You said you cared.. Why did you lie? If you would have only been there I wish I could talk to you Tell you of our son Tell you of the hurt I must bare But the words will not come When I see you, when I try to speak to you I only want to run Time will heal my broken heart But the memories will forever be there Of the times we spent And the places we went…..



SHILO

A heart of Gold
Worth much more than mear diamonds 
A jewel more priceless than silver and gold

A heart of glass, so fragile so clear
Sparkling bright eyes
A smile that out shines the sun, the stars

A beauty from with in
Bursts forth from her innocent loving soul

Such a caring Angel my daughter
My Shilo



My Angel Silver halo floats unseen above your head Feather white Angel wings Hidden behind your back Your smile brightens the darkest gloomy day A golden heart full of love, so fragile So innocent Yet, so mature beyond your tender years A soul with more honesty, More kindness, than has ever been shown Trustworthy Compassionate You bring sunshine into my dark world You bring laughter and Love into my empty soul Ever present, ever caring My friend, My companion, My heart My Angel My Daughter My Shilo





The Warrior Proud Stance Angry eyes Determined heart She looks upon this man in awe. She wonders what dwells inside his soul. Underneath the pride, the anger, the determination. Does his heart beat for something more? She looks on from a distance Wanting to know more. His strength emanates from his being. She dreams of feeling his embrace. He glances once then turns away. With a sadden heart she bows her head His image forever burned into her memory. Admiration from afar. Reality once more embarks, the vision fades. But her heart shall forever feel the warmth and privilege As she gazed upon.. The Warrior





Koo-meaah Your words make my hear skip a beat. Your image burned into my soul, flashes into vision. The knowledge that this dream holds no chance of reality cuts like a knife. Intelligence beats into my brain that this is wrong, Not a good thing, not a smart choice. But my heart cry's out! My soul sinks into despair. Time heals all wounds. But the heart never forgets.





Caged The storm rages She shivers in the icy cold All hope seems lost Still she prays for rescue Anger burns Her vision blurs Darkness holds her serenity Silence calms her soul Peaceful dreams quiet her beating heart Caged, Sympathy holds her in chains Biting metal cuts into her skin She fights for Freedom Her mind whirls Her heart pounds Her soul cry's out!





Reflection Hope sinks behind the lines of age. Tired eyes stare into the reflection of despair Dark circles cloud the once bright glow. Grey strands dull what had been the soft, dark flowing locks that framed her once smooth face. She sees a beaten spirit glaring back at her. Scars cover the heart that long ago craved love, passion and happiness. The day draws nearer when her heart will beat no more. The serenity of peace will set her broken spirit free with the dawn, Of eternal sleep.





Night fall Silence calms my soul Darkness hides away my stress I feel my muscles loosen My body relaxes Sleep slowly moves over me like a comforting blanket. Sweet dreams knock softly at my door I welcome them with open arms.